Off with these sweet jokers to a tented wedding in WeMass.
Congrats to Ms. B + JK!!!

Copula

Sanctuary on 33rd and 6th.

front door

(if you thought you noticed a photo disappear from this weekend, you aren't nuts. A thought a picture with our street name, my truck and the bedroom windows circled was too much information for the internet. she maybe had a point.)

reacharound

I've meant to do this for awhile, please to check out my old friend mose's animal blog. If a finer amateur naturalist exists in the metro-Austin area, I don't know them and quite frankly, I don't wanna know them.

class act

Hi, I responded to all your comments today from the month of September. Why do I always go back and do that? OCD meets delusions of grandeur.

They're filming Sex in the City outside my office building. Lots of extras are standing on the median strip. T thinks nothing interesting ever happens on median strips. I told him he's ignorant.

I'm going to my first bachelor party tomorrow. It looks like a classy one, with a trip to the museum and a fancy steakhouse and no strippers. Won't the guys be surprised when they find out...I invited twenty junkie whores!

I got an ergonomic assessment today, where two women boosted my keyboard and straightened my elbows and told me how I'm bad at sitting in chairs. I felt ah, violated.

There was a guy at the Mets game last weekend who simultaneously ate a hot dog with one hand while peeing in a urinal with the other. I can't stop thinking that's funny.

Off to Bohemia!

yard

The Continental

If any of you speak French, can you tell me how I screwed this up? I'm working from a high school education here people. Merci.

To: 'visa@consulfrance-newyork.org'; 'info@consulfrance-newyork.org'
Subject: assistance, s'il vous plait

Bonjour-
Mon pere est un citoyen francais et je desire prendre un rendez-vous pour verifier mon demande de citoyennete. Je croix que j'en ai toute la paperasserie mais je ne suis pas sur. J'habite a New York. Est-ce que nous pouvons nous rencontrer?

Merci beaucoup,
Jesse

(Excusez-moi, s'il vous plait, si mon francais est mauvais. Je n'ai pas beaucoup d'occasions pour parler la langue.)

I'm just posting pictures from New York for a bit. As always, click to enlarge.

neighbor cat is enemy

Sweet and Crunch

-I accidentally lost my beard the other night. I started trimming it innocently with scissors at 2am, then got weird and obsessive and went way too far. Have you ever seen the movie Pi?

-Now I have to buy a beard-trimmer, which I don't think they sell at Home Depot. I should know, after 5 (!) trips there in the last 2 weeks. And yet, I still know crap about home improvements.

-By far the biggest apartment project has been the installation of three bedroom doors. Earlier this week, we gave up and advertised for a handyman on Craigslist. Out of 20+ responses, I picked a guy named That Dude 007, who is willing to do the job for $100. I hope he doesn't install cameras in the toilet or eat Grayskull.

-Speaking of services I'm willing to pay for, how about laundry drop-off service?!!! Have you ever tried this wicked awesomeness? $8.70 for a huge load, folded neat and tight, smelling like puppies in a meadow, done within 24 hours, with my boxers tied up in a purple ribbon! (I thought the ribbon meant the laundry lady liked me...until A got the same treatment.)

-Went to Rosh Hashanah services last night. It was a special service for gay Jews and Cupcake's friend was in the choir. So I donned a yarmulke, read from a prayer book and tried not to be loud or disrespectful. I also said "I'm Jesse" when a guy shook my hand and said "Happy New Year" in Hebrew. I'm not Jewish or gay but I want to experience everything I can. The service was peaceful and interesting, I liked what the wise lady rabbi had to say. After we left, I drank tallboys in a park with M and her dog.

-Other new experiences will include: a birthday party for a six-year-old fashion model Saturday, a Mets game Sunday, a bachelor party in a week, Japanese lessons at the end of the month, a cross-country bus trip in October, and this amazing event in November. As April put it, New York is "sweet and crunch."

Family Guy

Oh before I forget, I wanted to tell you about Ole Vinnie's get-rich-quick scheme. When the Alaskan oil pipeline was under construction, he dreamed of renting a trailer and driving it up there. In the trailer would be all his haircutting implements, as well as two female assistants.

"Way I figured, I coulda charged $50 a pop, the construction workers wouldn't have many choices for a good cut. Then the girls coulda brought in more cash for a little sucky-sucky action."

The kicker was that he planned to send the money home to his elderly mother. Barber, aspiring pimp, pain-killer addict, soul musician, family man. I'll miss you Vinnie!

DIY

This week has been lots of things, one of them is new job. Except more like old job, new city. Want me to talk about my new hours? Inter-office mail? 401K?

No? Okay weirdos, I'll tell you about my co-worker T instead. He runs a fashion business out of this office. People are always stopping by his desk to look at re-tooled Louis Vitton handbags and hand-made denim corsets. He sews while talking on the phone to attorneys. He just interviewed a prospective model in an empty office across the hall.

T is more than a hustler though, he's also a bona fide character. Today he told us that he used coarse sandpaper to level out some 'inconsistencies' in his front teeth. He couldn't eat anything solid for over a month while the enamel grew back.

I'm gonna like it here.

But if you try sometimes

While I read on my lunch break in front of a church, a guy nearby started praying:
"Please God, today, on my 49th birthday, please send me a woman, not too rich, but not broke either. I want her to love me, and I want to love her in return, and I want us to grow old and happy together. And if you can't send me that, can I get enough cash to go see a movie? I wanna chill."

Suffering, and Smiling

That's the song I'm listening to. It's World Beat, do you guys know the global groove?

Here's the new kitchen (click to enlarge.) This apartment is on its way to becoming really nice.

...

Bye Boston Awesome.