all these little things

Watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest with SSS and El Toro last night, we heard an enormous *boom*. Sure enough, it was another flaming car. We could feel the heat, smell the smoke, the explosions vibrated through everything.

I ran outside with my camera phone (my real camera is in the shop dammit!) but remembered to dial 911 first. As I talked to the dispatcher from a corner near the flaming wreckage, I looked up and saw ghostly people watching from every window on my block.

I talked to my neighbor, who said the last burning car totally freaked him out because of all the marijuana he smoked. I said "That'll teach you, junkie!"

When the cops showed up, they took a bunch of pictures of each other goofing off in front of the flames. I guess a flaming minivan is a welcome diversion from other, darker things. Like this incident on our block soon after we moved in:
Carjacked
Four armed bandits mugged a man, drove him and his girlfriend around the corner in his Mercedes and handcuffed and released him, while taking the girlfiend on a joyless ride on Nov. 8.

The horror story began at around 7:45 pm, when the 66-year-old man parked the 1997 luxury car near the corner of Boerum Street and Bushwick Place. Suddenly, four thugs approached him and his girlfriend, beat him, took $400 and stuffed them both back into the car.

The drove the pair around the corner, handcuffed the man behind the back, and dumped him. He managed to walk to the corner of Metropolitan and Onderdonk avenues— in the confines of the neighboring 104th Precinct in Queens — where a witness called 911.

Meanwhile, the girlfriend was put in another car and dumped near Wyckoff Hospital. She told cops that one of the men had a brown pistol.

Cops have scant description of the perps.

Bushwick burns again

Must be spring cuz I smell car...

Contraband

When I get to work, I have to put my man-purse through a metal detector because my building was designated 'high-risk' for terror attacks.

Terror is the look I caught in the security guard's eyes when my bag went through this morning. I was confused until I thought about what's currently inside my bag- 4 to 5 different illegal or embarassing objects. I won't even list them here for fear my mother glances at confetti hair.

Trust me, I'm a fool.

body double

Last night I told the Croatian I starred in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Not only didn't she understand I was joking, she thought I meant that I was Jason Segel's body double.

He is 18 feet tall and buff (comparatively), not to mention in his altogether. That's cool!

Check Yourself

A weekend of firsts- first opera (ghandi!), first hookah-smoking (apple!), first time in Bay Ridge (new friends!), first Croatian (?!) and first BBQ of the year (beercan chicken!) Pepper all the firsts with some longstanding faves (cop dramas, brunch, Grayskull) and it has been a pretty great weekend.

So why can't I stop picking fights? (No jokes about Croatian conflict please.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was really nice day of weather. We had a picnic lunch of artichoke couscous salad (thanks *Marlo*) and ice coffee. The picnic was on a wide Park Avenue median strip, with three trees, green grass and a mess of tulips. It's Midtown, you work with what you got.

I've taken to cutting out centerfold pictures from Cat Fancy and taping them in secret spots for El Toro to discover (vegetable crisper, under toilet seat, etc.) El Toro has taken to yelling "I see your wang" all the time, like a crazed drunken child. Usually when she says it, I'm wearing ten layers of wool clothing. She's a great roommate, I love her.

I've been thinking about Midnight Oil a whole lot lately. I think bands that play at Earth Day events are never good. (If you disagree, use my comments section to establish some robust dialogue!)

I stayed in Queens this weekend, Grayskull punished me by peeing all over my best jeans. Remember when that was a serious problem? I could never give her away now, I want to make out with her too much.

Have you heard about the Yale abortion artist? Beth Mullinz suggests she aborts her own fetuses because she stinks at drawing and painting. Chew on that, art!

Still can't get enough Tim and Eric. I'm gonna meet Tim at a wedding in June, I hope I don't geek out and say something weird: "I love your shit, the shit you do, I love your hair, the way it shimmers!"

Drifter in the Dark

Blogging!

I've had lots to write about lately but very little time to do it (new job, visitors, etc.) Right now I've gotta pick up tickets to this show from a bunch of touring Toronto ragamuffins. 11pm comedy on a school night! Me and Mert shall suffer for our laughter.

I'll tell you about more exciting stuff tomorrow. Stay tuned!

your kiss so sweet, your sweat so sour

mezzo

hi everybody, Lots of stuff going on.

-Got a new position as a copy editor and photographer.

-Got turned down by one MFA program, wait listed by another.

-MTV commercial is airing this week (email me for details/link.)

-Pillaged Cupcake's sweet laptop for a paltry sum, inherited Huey Lewis, Janis Joplin and Jens Lekman tunes. No Del Amitri.

-Co-captaining a soccer team in two months, though I've played two days in the last two years.

-Bought and re-potted a blueberry bush, also planted an amaryllis and pansies (no jokes.)

-Running three or four nights a week, bragging about it all the time.

-Went to a freelancing class at Media Bistro.

-Tried the new brick oven pizzeria with a fried egg.

-Brooklyn Flea.

-My old friend Jeff is staying with us in late April, while he films his documentary on the demise of Arrested Development (super-fans Cupcake and Joshua may be interviewed for the film.)

-Midwestern adventuress/snowhound/cowgirl Maureen will also be in Brooklyn that weekend.

-Regional starlet BETH MULLINZ will be visiting New York soon, for the first time since I moved here.

-Helping out on an urban farm in East New York this weekend, as part of this team (feel free to donate money to our ragtag li'l gang.)

-Sissy Briana is coming to town this weekend, right around her 38th birthday!

-SSS just had his fabulous 30th! The Hammer also celebrated a birth! El Toro and Jess are about to change ages!

Please excuse me while I blog spottily, m'kay?

I am back?

Kristen Wiig, new favorite lady com, this is GD brilliant.

postcard