Oh What A Night

We interrupt this kitten broadcast for...Puppies!!!
Tonight, I-
1)Watched a good movie with Sharon called Off the Map.
2)Talked to an ex-girlfriend, who called drunk and belligerent. A fight ensued.
3)Drank most of a bottle of white wine.
4)Watched my sister's new dog give birth to 2 puppies!!!

Incredible Journey, Part 2

What a cliffhanger. I saw AprilDawn last night and somehow she managed to drag the conclusion out of me. Well, she asked and I told her.

When I left off, Grayskull was dead and I was on the Internet at 11:11. Friendster, blogs, Craigslist and...WHAT'S THIS?!!! A Craigslist ad saying a kitten was found near the intersection of Lowell and Summer, no more than 100 feet from my house! The ad wasn't very descriptive but hey, location location location.

"Sharon Sharon Sharon, someonefoundakittennearourhouseandmaybeitsgrayskullandisittoolatetocall?!!!" I burst into Sharon's room, yelling and hopping from one foot to the other like a ten-year-old who had to pee. Ever-patient and gracious, she calmly informed me it was just fine to call a stranger at 11:30. It seems like my mother would disagree, but hey, I got my roommate's permission. Good enough.

A pleasant-sounding British man answered the phone. I launched into a breathy description of Grayskull- long-haired, grey and red calico kitten. The Brit told me the found kitten was more medium-haired than long and was more beige than gray. But after hearing a little of my ill-concealed disappointment, he said, "Well maybe she does have a bit of ginger in her!"

I don't speak British so I have no idea what that means but it sounded like he was giving me hope. Good enough. "Can I come to your house to look at her? Now?"

What a swell guy, he said that would be just fine. He lived three houses down from me and it seemed like he must have my kitten. At the same time, my self-protection mechanism kicked in and I got ready for disappointment. But when Simon (as I learned his name was later) let me in, BOOM, Grayskull came running over. Huzzah!!!

Simon said, "Well I guess she's going to lose some loyalty points." I'm not sure what that means either but I gave an indulgent smile. As soon as I could, I hustled out the door to bring Mister Lady her friend. Grayskull, ever ready to accept what the world offers her, closed her eyes and fell asleep on the way home.

Five minutes after my triumphant return, Simon called me. He didn't seem to have much to say, but I quickly got the sense that he had bonded with Grayskull and was missing her already. We made kitten small talk for a bit, then I awkwardly suggested he could come by anytime for a visit.

"Oh well, that would be fine, yes. I was actually thinking that if you ever need someone to take care of her when you go away, we would love to do some catsitting."

That is so sweet, I really like this guy. Little does he know that the kittens are a package deal- Mr. Lady and Grayskull roll together. You know the hitchhiker trick where a girl stands by the road with her thumb out, then when a car pulls over, her boyfriend hops out of the bushes? That's how I would get Simon to catsit both kittens. I'd bring over Grayskull in a box, give some care instructions, then on my way out the door I'd let Mr. Lady hop out of my overcoat.

That would be the end of the story, except Simon sent me a great e-mail...

to be continued

Incredible Journey, part one

Yesterday morning I woke up my SpideySense was going haywire- something was wrong! Mister Lady was freaking out, running all over the place and making lots of noise. "What is it Mister Lady, is Timmy in the well?"

I figured out quickly that Grayskull, kitten #2, was nowhere to be found. Sharon and I scoured the whole house, including places 7-month-old kittens couldn't fit (like in the silverware drawer or my pocket.) I even woke up Josh to see if she was in his room, even though hell would freeze over before he'd sleep with a kitten. Grayskull was gone daddy gone.

Conclusion: Ex-roommate Courtney was moving stuff out Monday night. Apparently she left the basement door open for a goodly amount of time. And the door from the basement to the outside has a very large gap at the bottom, more than enough to let a kitten into the outside world.

Mister Lady says "Where oh where can my Grayskull be?"

Grayskull- loveable, affectionate, and dumb as they come. You could tell from an early age which cat got the brains of the family. While Mister Lady fine tuned her knowledge of quantum physics, Grayskull was busy learning about her own tail.

Seriously, just about every day I would walk in a room and find Grayskull caught in a situation she couldn't extract herself from. Like she would climb up something and couldn't figure out how to get down. Or she would sink her claws into the couch, only to get stuck there and patiently wait for assistance.

That said, my hopes for her survival were not too high. Grayskull seems like she may have been shortchanged on her nine lives.

By the time I got off work yesterday, I was pretty bummed about it. The two kittens are an excellent point/counterpoint in my household. For all of Mister Lady's frenetic evil genius energy, there was a heaping helping of Grayskull's kind-hearted, laid-back hippie groove. They were like the two sides of my soul. If you upset the balance, you ruin my life.

Sharon and I put food in the basement and outside, hoping to lure the little lady home. I could tell our hearts weren't in it, though. We had already started talking in the past tense. "Remember how Grayskull was always falling down? Yeah that was awesome."

Then, at 11:11 p.m., I decided to take a half-hearted look on Craigslist.

to be continued

The Family Pimp

On Saturday night, I was out with some old friends and new friends at The Barking Crab. At some point a guy showed up who I had never seen before. My sister, who typically doesn't pay much attention to guys, was smitten from afar. She was sitting at the opposite end of the table from this guy and she kept talking about his pretty eyes. Unfortunately, before she got up the nerve to approach him, he left with his friends. Brie expressed regret.

So I felt it was serendipitous when, waiting for the train at 7:15 tonight, I found myself standing next to the guy. I hadn't really talked to him on Saturday but I thought, "What the hell?"
"Hey weren't you at the Barking Crab? What's up man, my name is Jesse..."
So before you know it, we were riding the train, making strained small talk about his job (architect,) my job (blarg,) artists and zombies. After we crossed the Charles River, I awkwardly launched into my play:
"Hey so um, did you get a chance to meet my sister on Saturday? She was the tall girl with glasses and red hair."
"Was she at the other end of the table? I don't think I saw her."
"Well, heh heh, she ah, wanted to meet you but you left before she got the chance. So this is like, really weird, but I think I would be the best brother in the world if I got your email address for her."
"Oh um, see, the thing is, I kind of have a girlfriend. She lives in ah, Toronto."
Judging from how weird he acted, I'm guessing he thought I was trying to pick him up. At this point I found the courage to be indignant.
"Toronto? Gimme a break. Is that like band camp?"
Nervous laughter.
"Do you see her very often?"
"No not really."
Long silence. I let him sweat. Then fiiiiiinally, he said:
"You know what? I should probably give your sister my email address."
Boom, he wrote it down, I got it. But if I thought the small talk was awkward before I pimped out my sister, I had no idea what I was in for. Three more T stops, then we got off at the same stop and happened to live in the same neighborhood. As we kept heading in the same direction, I nervously told him I'm not a stalker, I really do live here, what a weird coincidence, heh heh. After about 14 hours of tense conversation, when we finally, mercifully parted, he said, "What's your name again?"

If my sister does use the email address I procured, I'm going to suggest she distance herself from me as much as possible. She is welcome to say I'm adopted, I haven't been taking my meds or whatever it takes to mitigate the damage I rained upon her love life.
The end.

More than you suspect

A friend's genealogical exploits inspired me to do a little more research on my great-grandmother.

Charlotte Teller (1876 – 1954)
The daughter of Colorado Attorney General James B. Teller, Charlotte attended the University of Chicago where she was a favorite student of John Dewey. She was a freelance writer for Hearst Publications, well known for her articles on contemporary issues and personalities, and an active suffragette. She wrote about progressive social movements, sweatshops and labor wars. After her marriage to journalist Gilbert Hirsch in 1912, they moved to Europe where she wrote under the pseudonym John Brangwyn until her death in 1954.

THAT IS SO COOL!!!

I also just found this quote from Mark Twain in a letter to my great-grams:
"If you, yourself, have any doubts, brush them away, for there is greatness in you, Charlotte - more than you suspect."

The moral of tonight's research is: even if I never accomplish anything, at least my forefathers (foremothers?) did.

Scribble Fever

An unanticipated side effect of my surgery recuperation has been a renewed interest in writing. Not only here, but also at my new site, Heartland Hinterland.

I intend for the new site to be part of a bigger project, kind of a rough draft for something I'd eventually like to get published. One of my old UMass professors, Maddy Blais, said she would help me edit and try to get it published. She won a Pulitzer once, so that is rad. Beth Mullin didn't win a Pulitzer but she is also going to help me.

On top of that, blogfriend April is looking to start a writing group with me and a few other folks. We are meeting for coffee next week. And thanks to Cupcake, someone from this website will be setting my stories to music for a "Pod-cast" (not quite sure what that is.)

This is so exciting, I'm staying in on a Friday night to write.
Sorry milkman.

LOL

For several months after I started seeing this expression in e-mails, I thought it stood for 'Lots Of Love.' It kind of made me angry. I was like, "Gross, get your love away from my computer." Now LOL makes me angry in a different way.

Doctor Rock

I got surgery on my neck last week, the final culmination of this drama. Today is my first day back at work, and I feel like a million bucks. Let me tell you some highlights of the surgical experience.
-The whole operation took 5 hours, which my dad says is longer than open heart surgery. They removed a big cyst that ran from the top of my jaw, down to my chin, then around my throat on the other side. Sounds like an alien baby.
-They kept me doped up and in the hospital for 3 days and 2 nights. I started to feel like I was in a mental ward. It didn't help when my roommate Pedro woke up at 4 am and started screaming for his car keys and credit cards. The nurse told him he was 'freaking her out' and gave him some meds. I nearly threw a water fountain through the window and ran free.
-I asked my doctor (pictured to the right) if he listens to music when he operates.
"Yes sometimes"
"What did you listen to during my operation?"
"Um, the Police. Also some David (sic) Matthews Band."
-I fancied myself quite a dapper gent in the recovery room, making jokes and flirting with Emma the cute nurse. I thought to myself, "You're really working it, big man. Well done!" Then she took away a bottle full of my urine and I remembered it wasn't a singles bar.
-Doctor Rock told me he came close to cutting a nerve that would have taken feeling from my earlobe for the rest of my life.
-I am not allowed to shave for one more week. The Doc asked if I could grow a beard.

"Can I grow a beard?!!"

Whimsy

I'm putting up all the posts from the last year. I decided it's creepy to erase a year from my life. Such is my mood today. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Before Brokeback...

I got a voicemail from my new roommate this weekend. Transcription:

"JESSEEEEE!!! IT'S JOSHUA!!! What's going on, man? (Unintelligible grunts and foreign words) I was actually just calling to ask if you've ever hung out with any of the Village People? How about anyone you know? No? Well, uh, I have. I was drinking last night with Randy Jones and let me tell you- that is one cool cowboy!"
End message.