How you like me now?

Yes sometimes my jawline swells up like the Goodyear blimp, but it's not like I've really got a goiter (or something similarly destructive to public friendships.) Let me share a brief timeline:
First flare-up- five years ago, terror, alarm. My initial prognosis: spiders laid eggs in my face. Eventually recedes.
Second flare-up- less terror, curious visit to UrgentCare. Doctor: "Omigod, I've never seen anything like that!" Not what I wanted to hear. Doc guesses it's a blocked salivary gland, recommends I suck on lemon candies. Eventually recedes.
Third flare-up- getting used to my infirmity, another doctor visit. Doctor: "Oh yeah, that's just your standard faulty lymph node." Recommends a removal by surgical means. I ask him if I could keep the node to show off at parties. He asks me to leave his office. Eventually recedes.
Fourth, fifth and other recurrent flare-ups- it has become like an old friend, can't seem to find free time for surgery. Eventually recedes, each and every time.

Related story- Nicole's old roommate Chris had the exact same problem as me (it was like finding my soul brother). Then this summer he got the operation and his pretty face now boasts a long, gnarly scar. Initially I was afraid of my problem. Now I'm afraid of its cure.

Conclusion- I'm not interested in becoming the Phantom of the Opera so everybody needs to just learn to love my lymph node. We're all in this together.