one wafer-thin mint for the gentleman

I can't believe that I left that bloody paper towel as my last post for two days, that lacks class. (It's a stranger's blood by the way, which makes it less gross.)

Brief update- much less pain, the swelling is subsiding very slowly. In a fit of rage against my dentist, I visited the jazzman, a swingin' dude with a ton of good reviews on Yelp.com. He was great, he used unorthodox techniques from the UK, his office is in a cool part of the city, he accepted a payment plan and he has been calling me every day to make sure I am okay. (to be honest the daily calls have been a little much, but people tell me that's because I have trust issues.)

I went back to my crusty old dentist today and, like a jealous boyfriend, he is angry about the new guy, he says jazzman did it all wrong, ruined everything, is gonna cost me more in the long run. "Jesse I teach these procedures at NYU, I probably taught your new dentist, what's his name anyhow?!" The jazzy new guy, by contrast, doesn't mind if I still see my old dentist sometimes. "I mean, the other guy's a square, but I'm into open relationships."

Easy boys, I've got enough teeth to go around!

Anyhoo, I'm getting a root canal in a couple weeks, just like in cartoons, except without the mallet, the ten-foot drill or the ice pack tied to my head with a ribbon. For now the weirdest thing is that I can't open my mouth more than an inch to get food inside, even though I can chew just fine. This means I am on a, um, "thin food" diet, i.e. crackers, pizza, crepes, etc. How odd.