Night Steam
Hi all. So my landlord, David D Davidson, saw me naked this morning as I walked to the shower. "Oh hello Jesse, your door it was open." If he wasn't a nine-foot tall filthy Hasidic man, I would say this was the beginning of some hot landlord/tenant porn.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, let me tell you about Night Steam!
Late this November, Triple D had still not turned our heat on. It was so cold one weekend, I had to stay warm by putting a fan in front of the oven and cranking it to 500 degrees. So A-bomb and I each withheld twenty dollars in December rent. Not a lot of money, but it was the principle we were fighting for. We figured he wouldn't want a costly court battle, and odds are we would win (it's very illegal to not have heat that late in the year.)
Well Triple D did not like our little maneuver, but didn't have much of a recourse. So he made the weirdest threat in the world:
"If you want to fight, I can get tough too. Have you ever heard of the Night Steam? I'm within my legal rights to use it on you."
"Excuse me, what's Night Steam?"
"It's a landlord's perogative. I don't have to be a nice guy. You still want to fight over forty dollars?"
"But I don't even know what Night Steam is..."
"So you'll re-consider?"
"Um, no I won't."
Every time I've seen him since, he asks if we've changed our minds about the forty dollars. "No David, we're gonna be keeping that money." He then says okay and walks away with his head hung down.
Still don't understand the Night Steam threat. Sounds like a movie on Cinemax at 2am. Thoughts?
posted by jesse @ 6:15 PM
5 Comments:
better you naked in that scene this morning from Night Steam than the other way around. better by a lot.
maybe he's going to try to 'steam' you out of the apartment at night...heat on high all night..i mean, i guess it could get annoying. or maybe he's planning on leaving your heat on during the summer, on high. like when you were a teenager and you used to drive around with the heat on high in the summer to see who rolled their window down first.
well....at least you didn't see ddd naked....I could'nt imagine....and I don't want to start...it is not yet time...I don't think it ever was. Have you met his poor wife? She is bald and clad in polyster.
Dude, your landlord is fucking crazy. "Night steam"? That's one step away from saying "smoke 'em out of their holes."
I stopped reading after the first paragraph. Shh. The picture I have in my head is so perfect, I won't have you ruin it by interjecting accurate details.
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