Forget it, Jake.

If you want to do karaoke with your buds, don't go to one of those glitzy high-impact croon parlors where everyone is semi-pro and the waiting list is 3 hours long. Those places will kill your confidence and the drinks are watered down and the douche factor is high. "Hey he sounds just like the dude from Third Eye Blind!"

If you follow my advice, you shan't be disappointed- head to Chinatown for karaoke! I've been doing this for years, ever since we used to visit The Natural ten years ago in Montreal. The appeal of Chinese karaoke is threefold:

1) You can sing lots of songs because the wait is rarely long.

2) Everyone else sings Chinese songs, making you the best (and only) English-language singers, every time! And if you really get into it like rock stars, the crowd often goes crazy.

3) Atmosphere to die for.

When Griff* was in town 2 weeks ago, we (A-bomb, Jenny and SSS) went to an unmarked karaoke bar near the Chinatown fire station, on the recommendation of two dudes in a deli. People were smoking and playing cards for money, the crowd was lively and boisterous. We were the only white folken in the place but no one seemed to care. In fact, we made friends!

Well, kind of. Other patrons slapped our hands and said Happy New Year a lot, but I think we were a bit of a novelty act. I sang both parts (high and low) of Total Eclipse of the Heart and SSS danced and shouted like a Southern preacher to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. Who wouldn't want to slap our hands?

Other highlights:
-Late in the evening we were pulled onto the dancefloor for a thumping Chinese techno song that lasted two and a half years.

-The video for Papa Don't Preach was people feeding geese in the park.
-When we went home, our clothes reeked of cigarette.

*Griff used to have an online food diary, until the cutthroat nature of the blogosphere took its toll. Gone but not forgotten, G-man.