Red Carpet

I've been going to free movie premieres since last fall as I'm part of a special web group* that notifies me when there's free advanced screenings in Boston. So far I've seen Borat, Shortbus, The Lives of Others, The Queen and Miss Potter. I would've seen Deja Vu and The Host but I screwed up on locations and timing.

Typically Joanna is my companera for the premieres, and I'm always telling her how exciting it is to be VIPs at such exclusive events. For instance, one Saturday night at the screening for Miss Potter, a sugarsweet biopic of the British author who penned Peter Rabbit, I remember having a conversation like this-

Jesse: Isn't it exciting to be here like Hollywood stars, seeing movies for free long before they come out?
Joanna: I have too many shoes.
Jesse: C'mon now, aren't you a little bit excited?
Joanna: Kitties are cute.

Last night I went to see The Lookout with the infamous Beth Mullin. I rearranged my work schedule weeks in advance, I skipped dinner to get a good place in line, I ran through the rain with no umbrella, all for my big Monday out.

I thought maybe Bethinus Mullinus would be more enthusiastic over the novelty of a free premiere, especially when it promised guns, sex and grittiness (as opposed to the sweeping British landscapes and lukewarm tittering of Miss Potter.)

So as we took our primo seats near the front and feasted on the turkey sandwiches Beth brought, I said, "Don't you feel like, wicked cool right now?" She responded, "Actually I feel just the opposite." Before I had a chance to ask how she could be so stupid and wrong, our eyes fell on an old lady with a walker approaching us.

The comic timing couldn't have been better. This lady was 136 years old, had a wonky eye and a patchwork mumu, and she looked like she smelled like cat food. Not exactly VIP material. Then as I scanned the audience, I realized that everybody in the crowd was a bit 'off.' Greasy-haired Star Trek types, pimply teenagers, the elderly, the overweight, the lonely, the outcasts. These are my my brothers and sisters.

Let's talk about something else now.

*maybe my casual use of the phrase 'special web group' should be a red flag that I'm the Geek King.