Finding Kryptonite's weakness

Judging from the number of people who found this site by googling 'Beth Mullin,' I know most of you are waiting with baited breath for beth's birthday pictures. Well I wish I could help you, but it's not quite time yet. At the same time, I don't want to look at Konami Zidane killing that Italian over and over again. Thus, let me tell you about One Brave Land Rider. (For those who don't know, a faulty Kryptonite lock has kept my bike hostage in Porter Square for almost two weeks.)

First let me mention that I brought WD40 to the bike on two occasions, following the suggestion of helpful blog readers. (You're all Junior Detectives to me!) The first time I tried, oily foam just spilled onto the sidewalk while I tried to wrestle my little black key in the big stupid lock. Yesterday, on the second WD40 visit, my slippery key broke off inside the slippery lock. Today Kyle said, "Oh yeah, I was going to tell you that might happen."

That's when I decided it was time to up the ante. It had been 12 days since I first locked the Land Rider to a street sign near the subway; it was a pretty sure bet I'd lose it soon if I didn't get busy. The Porter bike rack is crowded with rusty skeletons of bikes that once were. My only saving grace was that I had locked this bike to a brightly lit sign in a well-trafficked area.

Flash forward to this evening. My friend Kyle, who makes a lot of money working at a hardware store, tried to help me out in a major way- he brought a Sawzall to Porter Square! Sounds impressive, right? Kyle also brought:
-a second Sawzall, electric powered in case the first one ran out of batteries.
-a gas-powered generator for the backup Sawzall.
-extra metal-cutting carbide blades.
-a Jeep.
-knowledge of how things work.

He also wanted to bring an acetylene blowtorch but apparently that would be illegal. Perversely, we were kind of looking forward to cops pulling over to ask questions. There was no proof of ownership besides my broken key.

Taking pictures was Kyle's idea. He understood the advantages of having his picture on the Internet while using strange power tools. I think he also wanted photographic proof in case we became political prisoners.

Kyle, tools, to be continued

Beth, party, to be continued