Vine Yard

Day late and a dollar short, but but let me give a pictorial overview of my little jaunt to Martha's Vineyard last weekend. Let's start with a couple of my closest homies:

Here is Jenny, owner of the house that we stayed in. She is a very nautical person. Each year, her family publishes what I call the "Farmer's Almanac of the Sea." Or maybe the "Sailor's Almanac." Instead of wind and frost patterns, it describes wind and tide patterns. Land versus sea, you get it? It is a pretty fancy book. Many sailors use it. Jenny is nice.


This is Alli, many of you know her. We are like bff siblings. Lots of fun, some quibbling. We went to Chili's on the ride home from M.V. and spent most of our meal talking about the money shot (meanings, causes, synonyms, etc.) I didn't promise this would be a clean story.


We also had a real good time talking about how Bill Clinton and his family live in this oil tank compound near Vineyard Haven. And now, many days later, I find myself asking, "Was that funny or were you just drunk?"


Speaking of which...Jim Beam doesn't usually come in a yellow bottle, as my companions were quick to point out. It also usually costs more than thirteen dollars. That's because it was RYE, a whiskey relative that I knew very little about. I bought it because I was intrigued. I think it made me go blind.


I blame the rye for many things, like not being able to remember why Jenny is pouring beer in her hand.


NOW I remember- it's an old Martha's Vineyard home remedy! Her friend Cat is happy because Jenny just cured her diabetes.


I don't know about you guys, but this picture makes me think, "Is Alli going to doodle in her pretty horses notebook or is she going to do something bad to sleeping Sally?"


Actually I know the answer- "Alli is going to throw the box of crayons at Sally's head. She resents the fact that someone is sleeping peacefully." Alli then set the house on fire and cut a big gash in my neck.


Later that evening I was able to convince Jenny that I should have the guest cabin all to myself. That was probably the best part of the whole weekend, sitting up writing until 3 in the morning, smoking cheeba and listening to the rain. Perfect moment.


In fact, I developed a fantasy- bringing a girl there for a romantic mid-winter weekend. Sure, Jenny says the cabin isn't "winterized," but I think she underestimates my ingenuity. Right now all my ideas involve lighting furniture on fire, but it's a work in progress.


Here I am thinking about how to winterize the cabin. Not really, but check out my winter stash.

(Sorry ladies, I had to summerize my face. The mustache will not make a horrifying re-appearance until the weather is cold and I've given up on life.)