Safari Outtakes '06

(Forgot to finish this post earlier in the week)

Even in the most polished productions, there are going to be a few behind-the-scenes bloopers and mishaps. This was even true at our yard sale last weekend. Roll the gag reel:

1) Sharon made lemonade with Italian liqueur in it. My homie Cailin drank a cup and said she felt woozy in the sun. Oops, while we weren't looking, a chubby little European boy drank two cups. Luckily his mom bought the K'nex set, a big ticket item at $4.

2) It was a safari tag sale, though we wore no costumes, didn't decorate the house or yard, didn't play safari music and didn't even call the boozy lemonade "Jungle Juice" (we called it Magic Lemonade.) The only safari thing was the unapproachable unmowed grass our items were displayed in.

3) To grab the attention of potential customers, Josh hung a silver asbestos jacket over the "For Sale by Paul Martinez" sign in front of our house. It probably grabbed Paul Martinez's attention, when he came by at noon to show the house to potential buyers. With the combination of general chaos, blaring hip-hop, Cailin's barking dog in the living room and the pervasive smell of cat litter, we probably scared off the uptight homebuyers. I don't mind; Paul Martinez is a creep. A creep with a system.

4) Seconds after a male next-door neighbor came up our steps, wearing a woman's bathing suit, he said "I've been puking all morning." He got the quick tour.

5) Daytime safari boozing made me too logy for Kyle's Summer of No Tomorrow Party that night. I stood around feeling dazed and confused for a couple hours until it was time to get in Cailin's car and drive away from Woo-burn. Oh well, it looked like the party went well for Kyle, with or without my full consciousness.

6) There were no customers. We spent more money on preparation than we received for goods and libations. But hey, we all (Cailin, Jesse, Sharon, Josh, Sharon's sister Alli, Alli's boyfriend Tom and a rotating cast of friends and neighbors) had a good time out in the sun. And we know we'll do better when we attempt this again in a couple months. We have ideas.
Yard Sale 2- "This time it's personal!"

Slinky Dog, the official mascot of Safari Tag Sale 2006, was available for use but not for purchase.