Tongue Ring

The best two news stories in the recent past.
Story A
A 73-year-old Kenyan man, confronted by a leopard, throws down his machete and rips out the leopard's tongue with his bare hands. He is now a folk hero.
Story B
Bob Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, was visiting his old Russian chum Vladimir Putin. When Bob showed Vlad his $100,000 diamond-encrusted Super Bowl championship ring, the Russian prez thought it was a gift and put it in his pocket. To avoid an international incident, Bob pretended it was supposed to be a gift all along because of his proud Russian lineage. What a yerk.