Speeders Anonymous

Yesterday I had to go to Defensive Driver Training because my employer thinks it's bad that I got 4 speeding tickets this year. Can you believe they're trying to impose their uptight morals on my bohemian driving style? outrageous.
I've taken this course at least twice before because it is completely ineffective and I will never stop speeding. you hear that, fat cats? never!
yesterday's class was particularly amusing, kind of the Breakfast Club meets Anger Management. We were all there because our employers forced us to be. The motley crew consisted of 3 cabbies, 2 USDA workers, myself and an EMT. some highlights-

-the butch lesbian cabbie who couldn't stop bragging about road rage and streetracing motorcycles and getting 12 tickets in 2 weeks. the uptight soccer mom instructor was not amused by us egging her on.

-the lily-white instructor asking the one black guy if he had taken the class before because he looked familiar. "no ma'am we just all look alike."

-during lunch break, me and one of the cabbies were vying for the same lane and got all aggressive until he cut me off and squealed off in his El Dorado. when we came back after lunch, we did not make eye contact. clearly the class made a huge impact on our driving habits.