more than a scary chipmunk

hi guys.

-A lot of shitty things are happening to my loved ones. I'm thinking about you a lot.

-Mister Lady is still loose on the streets of Somerville. We got a call on Saturday night, the second spotting. I'm quite worried but let's hope for the best. Grayskull isn't giving up hope, she sits and watches out the window where ML set off on her own. Have you ever read or seen Where the Red Fern Grows?

-I'm playing in a charity soccer tournament Saturday morning. I just bought a pair of flashy shinguards that I'm calling my Silver Surfers. I wish they could conceal the fact that I'm alarmingly out of shape and haven't played the game in over ten years. I'll be fine as long as they let me smoke and eat pork while I play.

-Went to New York last weekend for my friend Emily's 30th birthday. The morning after her party, I woke up alone in the unfamiliar apartment of new friend Dan. I quickly decided he kills waitresses as a hobby
a) because his place was too spotlessly clean.
b) because he liked American Psycho a lot.
c) because I was hungover and wanted to die.

-Emily suggested a Brooklyn brunch spot that ended up being closed by the Department of Sanitation. She loved that place, there was never any line! (rimshot)

-Coming home from the city, Alli and I ran into our old friend Niko. Bus-drunk and overtired, we invented a game. Basically we dictated mock letters to things which can't receive letters. Examples:

Dear (country of) Turkey-
Why was my lunch so expensive? I wasn't very full after I ate.
Love,
Niko

and

Dear subway-
What's that noise?
Love,
Jesse

Niko did a funny voice during the game. We all laughed. The end.