Jesse's Choice

You probably don't want me to talk about cats right now. After all the cutesy kitten posts of the past year, I'm sure you feel betrayed. It's like telling you a story about my cats putting on a vaudeville variety show, then having them put to sleep because they weren't very talented.

In my defense, I will be giving Grayskull to a caring home, several doors down from me, and I assume I'll have decent visitation rights (though I suppose that's for the courts to decide.) Also in my defense, Grayskull has unleashed a torrent of waste on our house in the last few weeks. Special treats included:
-Jon crawling into bed after a long day at work, all tuckered out and ready for 1,000 Z's, to find his sheets soaked and pungent.
-A poop present carefully wrapped in the kitchen rug, just waiting for me to do the dishes at 8am.
-Last night, Joanna and I stumbled upon a fun little fecal formation right next to the litter box. Now that is spite.

A couple obvious questions-
Q: How do you know Grayskull is the bad guy? Cats do their business in private, so couldn't the villain be Mister Lady?
A: No. Despite my earlier assertions that M. Lady is an evil genius, I think I've learned a lot in the past few months. Namely, Grayskull is actually The Bad Seed, with an innocent face, a cutesypie demeanor and a heart of ash and icicles. Mister Lady is an incorrigible 12-year-old with ADD, poorly behaved but unable to help herself. There are many Hardy Boys clues that point to Grayskull, but it's my gut instinct that makes her wear a Scarlet P.

Q: Will you tell Simon about Grayskull's carefree policies on waste disposal?
A: Eh, probably not. He already knows the score to some extent. I don't want to kill the rest of the surprise.