Lady Luck has an STD
One morning at Herrell's Ice Cream, my tragically-named co-worker Chewy got fed up with a run of happy things in my life. With a venom-laden voice, he spit out, "Well everything's just coming up Jesse, now isn't it?"
I scruffed him behind the ears and told him to go soak his bitter head, but it still got me thinking on luck, in all its layers. The past two weeks, I have had similar musings.
Sometimes it seems like I'm King Luck, like I can do anything and everything to fuck my life up because I travel in a shiny protective bubble. My sister Briana, on the other hand, has a knack for flat tires and thorns and salmonella. My mom points out that she gave Brie a scratch ticket once a week for a year and she never won a dime. Then I came home from college and won a jackpot on the first ticket.
The thing is, my good fortune has a catch. As soon as I actually mention it out loud, it's over. I made this mistake last week, saying something stupid like, "Well if I ain't the luckiest lad this side of the Waco..."
Since that time, my license was suspended, I got sick, my housekeys disappeared, a powerful politician questioned my integrity, I got a hefty ticket, I ran out of money and the sunshine went to Massachusetts, leaving overcast skies and snow in its wake.
my alternator looks like this except with more rust and blood
Last night was the pinnacle. Whilst driving home from a long exhausting day at work, my headlights started dimming on the Interstate until I was driving in pitch black. At least I was able to make it to a rest stop before it died altogether. Well, I thought my battery was dying because I would charge it up and then it would drain again. Now I find out it's my friggin' alternator, a problem requiring my truck to be towed to a service station, waiting for days while parts are ordered and spending hundreds of dollars I need for my move. Today, and for several days to come, I am stuck at my apartment while the snow keeps falling. It's almost like Wisconsin won't let me out of it's icy grasp.
Almost, but not quite. I'm going to Boston.
posted by jesse @ 9:19 AM
2 Comments:
Even though I think you should take said politican's comments and opinion with a grain of salt, said run of bad luck is just no good. Do you need anything to be covered come Monday? Let me know.
here is the letter to the editor, a toned-down version of the drunkenly furious voicemail and email I received:
In his book “The Devil’s Dictionary,” Ambrose Bierce defined the word “quotation” as “the act of repeating erroneously the words of another…” And in a 1985 speech to journalism alumni of Northwestern University, Ray Cave admonished, “A quote is a personal possession and you have no right to change it.” To those erudite remarks, I would add my own phlilosophy: “A quote is not a quote if its substance has been materially changed by the omission of its context.”
The article on the front page of the Thursday, March 17 Portage Daily Register had a wonderfully captivating headline: "Dog-licensing issue hounds county." For the most part, reporter Jesse ______’s article was up to his usual excellent standards. However, he chose to omit an important portion of my conversation with him regarding the “necessity” of the humane society.
When he asked if I thought the humane society was a necessity, I responded that the county had to prioritize the services it provided to the communities we serve. Further, I stated that the needs of our most vulnerable citizens: the elderly, the developmentally disabled, the handicapped and the young , had to be the first priority. When comparing the humane society to those needs, I said I could not consider it to be a “necessity.” Jesse’s response: ‘Human needs before animals, then?,” made me feel he understood what I was saying.
The omission of that critical portion of our conversation has led to a host of phone calls and e-mails with comments ranging from “That doesn’t sound like something you would say,” to “I hope you were misquoted.” I will not say I was misquoted, but I do feel that I was seriously, and unfairly, under-quoted.
Susan Martin
County Board Chair
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